“Never Forget 9/11”
No one needs bumper stickers or museum kiosks to remind them of what they cannot forget. Most kids aren’t reminded of their parent’s date of death by the vehicle ahead, when heading to the Little League field. Lunch out with a friend isn’t usually jolted by political debates over the circumstances of your spouse’s death, leaking over from the neighboring table. And strangers don’t typically run up to snap your photo while posing in front of your loved-one’s memorial.
I am Deborah Garcia and I belong to the 9/11 widow’s club. My sons, the 9/11 orphan’s club. My circumstance is not like most widows and widowers who lay their loved ones to rest and mourn within the confines of family and friends. I lost my husband, instantly, in a national tragedy, along with 1,609 other spouse’s and sixteen years later, most Americans share my grief. What’s on everyone’s mind every September in the developed media-driven world, is the modern day tragedy that has come to be known as 9/11. 2,977 civilians were murdered in the largest attack on American soil since December 7, 1941, and my husband, David Garcia was among them. The grief still resonates deep in the memories of those old enough to have known, those of us who were close enough to have been directly impacted, and those who fight to protect our nation’s borders.
How do we move through this? How do people adapt to a new normal while living in a continuous thread of multiple simultaneous messages from multiple directions? How do we nurture our children of public tragedy, in a world where there are no privacy settings?
This is my endeavor to share my experience of moving from surviving sudden life interruptions in a national crisis that is personal and persistent, while composing a new life. To find healing and peace in one single day.
I am interested in learning how others move from similar circumstances to reinvent their lives and raise a new, productive generation with hope and joy. If you like my content, I invite you to comment. If you have a story related to 9/11/01, or any global tragedy, I invite you to share and engage in my blog form.
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Your strength has always been an inspiration for me. Two years after your tragic loss – I experienced the same loss of my husband. You helped me through a tough time. We grieved together as our youngest boys did – together as friends. You wake up the next day and you feel like it could be a dream. Then reality sinks in and we realize your on your own raising two small children. We both did the only thing we could – one day at a time because our failing or giving up was never an option we would consider. We each had two grieving children and all we wanted was normal again. So we got used to the new normal – one day at a time – we continue to celebrate their Dads lives rather than their deaths. I know my kids never get tired of hearing stories about their Dad! For me, going back to school and finding a new career gave me strength and was a great distraction. We have ups and downs but we have a unique love and appreciation for family. God Bkess you my good friend – and know that I get it!
Thank you Donna, my parallel sufferer.